They are things in our way of life or culture that we do not question even if we know that they do not serve us or that they are outdated but we do not question them.
I am one of those people that lose weight when I have something bothering me emotionally, my appetite just goes and food isn’t appealing to me at all when I am that state of mind. I am currently in that state of mind and consequently I have lost some weight, but not too much to be described as skinny and in fact could lose a little more to get to the ideal weight for my height, but this is possibly a topic for another blog.
The realisation of this unintended weight loss has brought a new set of worries which may lead to further weight loss- my upcoming trip home to Uganda. The last time I was there was May this year. My mother and aunties were beaming with the biggest smiles at my appearance. I had gone up a dress size!
Oooh! You look well they cooed!
At the back of my mind I was concerned about having to get a whole new summer wardrobe and how I could afford it as nothing from the previous season would fit!
Well I didn’t have to worry for much longer as one thing led to another on my return and off went the weight and a new summer wardrobe was not an issue anymore.
I am due back to Uganda in 3 months time and although I am a grown woman I am worried about the matriarchs’ reaction if I don’t regain the weight before I go.
There will be questions, lots of them!
See in most African communities being fat is a sign of
- good health
- for men in particular it is a sign of wealth
- feeding well (this translates as having good quality food as well as having plenty of food)
- And in the case of a woman, “your husband must be taking good care of you” which translates as having a well stocked kitchen amongst other things.
This has left me wondering about the origin of this way of thinking and whether is serves us as a continent. We know much more about health implications of being over weight but in some quotas this doesn’t make a bit of difference!
Take the example of Mauritania women/girls have to be fattened like cows due for sale at the slaughter house before their wedding
What is that all about?
Is being that obese really sexy? What about the health problems associated with being obese?
Is it possible to be thin and healthy or even happy in an African society?
What are the current trends? Are the new generation still obsessed with being fat or have they caught up with their western counterparts and prefer to be a size zero?
Please share your views on the matter.
Ida, I love this post!
I once had an African boss, he was a great mentor to me. He used to dread going back to his home town as his girlfriend was an African model and slender compared to a lot of the other women. He used to try everything he could think of to ‘fatten’ her up before they went
I told him about the ‘feeders’, these are people that encourage people to eat and gain pleasure in them gaining vast amounts of weight – they were on tv a while back, channel 4 I think. He said in all seriousness – the thought had crossed my mind! That shocked me, as he is one of the smartest men I have ever met and to me this was regressive thinking.
And he explained it to me “Sara, you will not get a husband in the UK if you have a child, single parenting is frowned upon. You find it hard to get a boyfriend if you are fat in the UK. In Africa if you are a fat single parent you are the ideal women, you are fertile and you have money.”
Then it all made sense to me! I was unfortunate that my credit card was maxed out or I would have been on the first plane out to Kenya.
Perhaps one of those fat suits would be useful?
*runs and hides*
It is mental Sarah isn’t it.
Your ex Boss wasn’t kidding, you are put through an inquisition. I remember getting to a size 20 once and I went on the South Beach diet to shed it. OMG 8 years on I can still remember word for word of the complaints!
LOL, at Perhaps one of those fat suits would be useful?
*runs and hides*- I will try them 2 with two weeks to go.
The irony of it all is that when I get home food I will be fed like there is no tomorrow. There is also that assumption that I don’t have access to good food!
Ida, I love this post!
I once had an African boss, he was a great mentor to me. He used to dread going back to his home town as his girlfriend was an African model and slender compared to a lot of the other women. He used to try everything he could think of to ‘fatten’ her up before they went
I told him about the ‘feeders’, these are people that encourage people to eat and gain pleasure in them gaining vast amounts of weight – they were on tv a while back, channel 4 I think. He said in all seriousness – the thought had crossed my mind! That shocked me, as he is one of the smartest men I have ever met and to me this was regressive thinking.
And he explained it to me “Sara, you will not get a husband in the UK if you have a child, single parenting is frowned upon. You find it hard to get a boyfriend if you are fat in the UK. In Africa if you are a fat single parent you are the ideal women, you are fertile and you have money.”
Then it all made sense to me! I was unfortunate that my credit card was maxed out or I would have been on the first plane out to Kenya.
Perhaps one of those fat suits would be useful?
*runs and hides*
Ah, Ida, perhaps we should simply swap mothers ?
I understand that there used to be a theory that in societies where being large is acceptable, the health problems associated with obesity don’t exist.
Now that appears not to be true – but recent research apparently shows that there are genetic differences and some people are more prone to weight gain than others. Also, some people appear to have no health problems associated with obesity – and others do. I have a very skinny friend who has problems with high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes – while I have so far avoided those problems.
There’s also some new research that suggests that some obesity may be triggered by a kind of cold virus…
As a fat person, I’ve been lectured about cutting down on my food by a skinny friend who never ate her greens and was in the middle of eating her second Mars bar of the day…
I just don’t think any of it is as simple as it is made out to be, and we should all concentrate on being healthy and happy as we are.
Does your mother prefer thin daughters Ann if so you are on!
It was interesting to note that however much we diet our bodies do the opposite which is protect us by producing stuff that ensures we regain the weight (source BBC Radio 4)
Frankly it is best to ensure that you are healthy as you say. I too was diagnosed with high cholesterol a year ago (it is back to normal now) and everyone in my family was shocked as i am so careful when it comes to eating fatty foods or take away- the obvious sort fo food that we all know is bad for us!
Hi Ida, love your post. Are you interesting in expanding on the ideas you have presented and writing a piece for http://www.adiosbarbie.com ? Otherwise, can we get permission to repost your entry? I’m at piaguerrero@comcast.net Warmly, Pia
Hi Pia, welcome to Africa on the blog. I am strapped for time at the moment so I am happy for you to repost this thread but please give credit and a link back to this site
Great post Ida! Also good to know that I am not the only one who’s experienced this. I too tend to lose my appetite when going through stressful times. I have always been thin but I remember when I moved from Guinea back to New York, I gained a few extra pounds (oh how I had missed doughnuts, pizza and hamburgers during my 7 yrs in Guinea…too bad it took me so long to realize that eating junk every day was not the way too go!). When I went back to Guinea for the first time, I was showered with compliments by my family. This was a sign that I was living well and in good health. I, on the other hand was not so pleased about the weight gain. 2 years ago, I went back to visit and had been going through a hard time. With the stress paired up w/ a better diet I had lost all the weight and then some! My whole family was worried. To them, something had to have been going on…was I sick? broke? following the NY trend? I was okay with the way I looked but they seemed to think I was one missed meal away from dying! LOL
I think that until each society’s view of what is considered to be the definition of beautiful changes, people will keep on following trends, and trying to live up to the standards of what others consider to be beautiful and what they themselves have begun to believe is also their definition of beautiful (sorry for the complicated sentence, I was on a roll here).
Saran
LOL, Saran I could see you were on a roll there. I would be interested to know where that way of thinking came from. So your family have identical views to mine when it comes to weight1 Following trends is stressful and I think as Ann put it below it is best to concentrate on being healthy. But somehow I suspect that is not going to be good enough for our folk! LOL
It’s a good thing that big women are being recognized for their beauty. To me, size matters moreso when it comes to health.
I have aired toward being big and small but when it comes to beauty, truly it is in the eye of the beholder.
Our society has unfortunately promoted skinny as beautiful and all others pale in comparison. But skinny women can also be unhealthy just as big women.
When it comes down to it, how’s your health?
Michelle
Welcome to the discussion Michelle
Yes ultimately being healthy is what it is all about and I am in good health
I smiled at this post as I joke that when an African tells me I am looking good I start dieting Immediately!
I have high blood pressure (since pregnancy 15 years ago) and similar to Ida developed high cholesterol few years back. In the cardiac clinic at my GP’s, the nurse went through my diet to try and educate me on what to eat and she could not find anything to tell me to stop as I eat healthy.My largest dress size has been a 12 when I put weight on.
Family were surprised that the this could happen to me. I am sure my mother felt a bit smug(not in a bad way) as she always tells me I go on too much about the wrong foods (my mother says I am a white woman, which is incidentally my next planned post, partly due to this fact).
I say a healthy heart is acceptable and that does not always go with being overweight unfortunately.
To Anne, I think that in societies where large is acceptable, the health problems are not acknowledged? Recently I was having a discussion that the news of death and illness from home was overwhelming and the comment that always followed the heart attacks, death from diabetes, strokes etc is that no one saw it coming! Most of the victims have been overweight and the link is not there for most.
Yes, I have a similar problem with mother dearest when it comes to diet.We ought to compare notes sometime
Wonderful post. I can’t help but think that this way of thinking dates way back into human pre-memory, when storing fat may have been necessary for survival through rough patches and times when there wasn’t enough to eat. Much like how most animals fatten themselves before winter. Having more fat may have meant a greater likelihood of surviving famine, therefore more attractive, and so on. Just an idea.
beautiful black African women recently posted..Beautiful African woman looking for marriage